How does this happen?

***edited to remove names of parties involved per mothers request***

I have copied the story from Stop Carver County .  I am heart-broken, saddened and in utter disbelief that this wonderful women went from having full physical custody of her children, to weekend visitation and now to supervised visitation!  

I want to scream and stomp my feet.  I will never understand how our justice system can allow children to be pawns in a game.  I know nothing about the father/ex husband and very little about the mother in her life today.  But what I do know she loves these children and would give her life for them. 

I don’t know what the best decision should be.  I wasn’t in that court room.  I am curious though how it gets this far. 

We are lucky in our house.  My husband and his ex get along well enough we all do what is in the best interest of our daughter.  As a matter of fact because our house is overwhelming at the moment my sweet and precious girl is living with her mom until it settles down.  This is not ideal for My husband and I but may be ideal for her at the moment.  I don’t like it and will miss her terrible.  BUT as parents it is our JOB to do what is best for a children.

WE should NOT do something just to hurt the other parent.  We should always take our children’s best interest into consideration. 

I have a question.  Where do these professionals come from?  I read that the custody evaluator doesn’t have children.  I know from experience.  Your opinion on parenting changes immensely after having children.  I was the most opinionated fool around before I had my son.  I still have my opinions just realize what works for me may not work for you.

This isn’t the first case I’ve seen go completely stupid.  I know of many others where the judgement just doesn’t make sense.

And yes I know there are three sides to every story.  In this case his, hers and the truth.  But does the judge see that or are there $$$ signs in his eyes. 

Money talks and I know that people can and do get bribed.   (note: everything written in pink is this writers opinion.  Not a statement of fact)

Today what I am asking of you is for everyone to pray for these three beautiful children.  Please pray for God to help them through this difficult time.  Pray that they can rise above this situation that is out of their control.  Pray that all the controlling and manipulating ends and they are allowed to be children.  Free to laugh, love, live, play & dance.

Pray for *** that God can help her to come to peace with this and give her the strength to continue to fight for what she believes in. 

STOP CARVER COUNTY FROM TAKING THESE KIDS

Carver County Family Court Horror CaseBanken Case SummaryThe people involved in this case are:

Mother, age 34

Father, age 38

Their three children – a girl age 6, a boy age 4, a girl age six months

Others involved are:

District Court Judge who blocked the case to himself

Court appointed custody evaluator

Court appointed guardian ad litem

Custody evaluator appointed parenting consultant

Attorney for father

Attorney for mother

Mother and father were married May 14, 2004. It was the first marriage for both. They had known each other and dated on and off for several years. Father is and has been a very successful businessman engaged in the construction business. He is the owner and president of Structures Hardscape Specialists and Civil Solutions Group in Minneapolis. He reported $480,000 gross income for 2008 in his tax return. For 2009 he claims a loss of $319,000 and gross income of $130,000. He filed individual tax return for 2009, and pocketed a $60,000 return, along with a $30,000 return last October 2009 directly after he left and stopped all financial support to mother. Father has sole title to the 4000 square foot home of the parties. Mother believes father also is involved in drug trafficking and has some information to support that.

Mother was employed until September 2008. She was in marketing and sales and brought home about $73,000. For the 6 years prior to that she was in the real estate business and earned about $97,000 in her peak employment year. In September 2008 she and father agreed that she would end her employment and become a stay-at-home mom. At that time they had two children and planned to have a third child which they did in March 2010.

Their marriage was very troubled. Father was very controlling and dominated mother as well as frequently physically and verbally abused her. He has a criminal record and a history of abusing and sexually mistreating women. Father was frequently away from home and his children for long periods of time on business trips or engaged in unknown activities leaving mother with attending to their children and family matters by herself. He resisted mother having friends or shopping and would not allow mother to be on credit card or checking accounts and mother did not resist this. Mother has never viewed a bank statement, credit card statement and was never made aware of funds available to father during their marriage. After mother left her employment in 2008 father sporadically gave mother small sums of money for household purchases and to pay household bills. Since mother’s unemployment as of September 2008 her credit history deteriorated to the point where she cannot get credit.

Father first filed for divorce in May 2007. This suit was dismissed in March 2008. Father filed a second suit for divorce in September 2009 while mother was very ill and hospitalized for dehydration at 16 weeks pregnant with third child. This divorce is pending. Trial has not been scheduled. The court initially gave mother temporary possession of the home of the parties and temporary sole physical custody of the children with liberal scheduled parenting time for father with their three children. A difficulty for mother is that she has no money and no access to the assets of the parties. She borrowed $9,000 from her father to pay her lawyer’s retainer fee. She owes her attorney about $25,000 for work already done and her attorney is demanding payment before she takes needed actions such as depositions of key witnesses.

The court appointed a custody evaluator to conduct a custody evaluation and a guardian ad litem to advise on custody and parenting time. The custody evaluator, a licensed psychologist, charged the parties several thousands of dollars for her services, which mother could not pay. The custody evaluator personally administered MMPI and Clinical Multiaxial Inventory examinations to each of the parties. Mother was given these examinations directly after giving birth to her third child and while still nursing the infant. The custody evaluation found no evidence that mother was an unfit parent, no evidence of any substance abuse or use of drugs or alcohol, or any negligence or abuse of the children, but did state that the environment provided by mother lacked structure. On the basis of her examination, the custody evaluator recommended that father have sole physical custody of the children with limited parenting time with mother. As stated in the evaluation, it was paid for entirely by father. Mother since has had the MMPI test report evaluated by her psychiatrist and other professionals who state that the test results are significantly deficient and are invalid and that in their opinion mother is normal and able to parent her children.

As the custody evaluator was nearing the end of her evaluation an instance of domestic violence occurred. Father was exercising the parenting time then authorized by the court including three hours of visitation with the then four-month infant of the parties. This visitation took place at father’s residence. Mother went to father’s residence at the end of the scheduled four hours of visitation with the infant to retrieve her. She was strapped to a seat in father’s truck. Mother went to unstrap the infant when father grabbed her and threw her to the ground. He stood in the entrance of the vehicle not allowing mother to get the infant and leave. When father walked away yelling at the older two children to get out of mothers car mother again tried to retrieve the infant from the vehicle. Father pulled her from the vehicle again this time with more force. Mother hit the side of the truck bruising and swelling her right arm. Mother attempted to defend herself. In the process she swung at father. Eventually she retrieved the infant and left the premises. Father called law enforcement and charged that mother had assaulted him. Two officers responded. They separately interviewed father and then mother at her home. They charged mother, arrested and jailed her overnight, and delivered the infant to father. There is no report of any weapons. At the hearing on the following morning, the judge issued an order that was requested by father for protection in father’s favor, and a no contact order that bars mother from any contact with father and her children except for a few hours each week as specified. Subsequent to this incident, father employed a nanny to care for the children while he works close to 50 hours per week and is on business trips. The nanny is 21 years old and has no children. She has never met mother and has no idea how to get a hold of her while father is out-of-town for days at a time. Mother is not informed of fathers trips and is not allowed to take children to activities, school, or the doctor. The nanny takes children to all events and appointments. Nannies training to care for an infant is unknown. Mother is very concerned for her baby and other young children.

Mother has no money to pay for a lawyer for her trial in October 2010 on domestic assault.

Father has acknowledged that he showered with his 6-year-old daughter during an overnight visitation at his home since he left in September. Mother is very concerned because of father’s history of sexual abuse of women. More recent is the sexual abuse the 4-year-old boy has informed mother and others about. There are also death threats told to mother by 4-year-old boy from father after visitation with him. The children were manipulated by the father to not listen to the mother, to call her ***, not Mom. They were told to mess the house, cut things up, fight their mother physically, kick, scream, bite, punch… all things the children have never done prior. The young boy began to torture animals. The 6-year-old girl began to hump things and behaved highly inappropriate with boys and girls. These behaviors began directly after visits with the father, and would take up to four days to subside. The children would go with their father again and the behavior would start all over again. The 4-year-old boy began fighting physically at bedtime and having night terrors. He began wetting the bed frequently at night and started wetting himself during the day. During this time the children reported to mother and others about incidents of abuse during visitation with the father. Social Services, the GAL, and the custody evaluator paid no attention to witnesses to these allegations and paid attention to only the fathers references whom where not around the children or mother during this time.

By order dated August 4th, 2010, Judge Perkins awarded father temporary possession and use of the home of the parties, possession of all property of the parties and ordered mother to move from the home by the end of August 2010 and find a new residence suitable for visitation with her children. Mother did not receive this order until August 12th leaving mother two weeks to find a residence. Perkins reduced child support by half for the month of August. Mother has been ordered since December 2009 to pay utility bills for residence with child support awarded. Father left in September of 2009. Father did not start to pay child support ordered in December until mid-January 2010. Father refused to pay the few bills in mothers name after he left their home allowing the home phone, her mobile phone, internet, and TV to be shut off. Mother had no way of communication to friends or family during her pregnancy. She received anonymous gift cards and cash in the mail and cash left on the front porch from those that knew the mothers desperate situation and wanted to help get milk, bread, and necessities for her and the children. Friends supplied her with mobile phones to use during her pregnancy, and after. Judge Perkins ordered father to pay spousal support starting September 1st, this is also the day mother is ordered to be out of the home. Mother has no money for rent or damage deposit nor credit to sign a lease even if she finds a suitable residence in three weeks. She has lost her newborn, her kids, and now is homeless and desperate. The older two children are showing grave signs of anger and pain since being ripped from their mothers care. The infant began acting out when strangers or even grandmother would hold her at the small age of three months old. Which was the time the infant was taken from her mother.

Mother’s case is representative of hundreds of court cases that illustrate the absence of common sense in family court proceedings It also illustrates the problems that exist because of the lack of standards for and regulation of custody evaluators and guardians ad litem who charge thousands for their services. It also illustrates the power of money in litigation.

Posted by Stop Carver County! at 2:43 PM

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